Living with gynecomastia is a very embarrassing thing. Its something that a great deal of men hide from their wives and girlfriends and even children. I know that may sound like a crazy thing but trust me if you have gynecomastia embarrassment then you will probably one of the best people at making excuses and suddenly not feeling well so you need to rush to the toilet in order to remove yourself from a situation.
I have personally even tired to sabotage my own relationships in order get out of having to take my shirt off in front of my girlfriend. I remember on one occasion when we first got together she bought my some new tops as she thought my tshirts looked a bit tired. She was only doing something sweet but yet I quickly changed the subject to create and argument so I wouldn’t have to try on the tops in front of her. Of course when I tell you this now I feel terrible for doing such a nasty thing but at the time I was panicking inside thinking ‘what if she sees im not normal’ maybe she will not want to be with me any more! This is a stupid thing to think I know that now but I felt so embarrassed with myself, something that I had spent my life (well since 13) doing.
How did I overcome my frustration and panic? it was quite simple really, I managed to build up the courage to tell her that I had problems with my chest. I did this over time by dropping into conversations casually – for instance if we went shopping to a Mall she’d suggest I looked at clothes but I’d say that i have a strange physique ‘uptop’ certain things fit me others dont. It took time but more and more I felt at ease to disgust the subject with her.
One day we were both sitting in the front room and we got onto the subject of gynecomastia. She went onto her phone and did a google image search for gynecomastia and was amazed at what she saw. We both looked through the various pictures of men living with gynecomastia and she kept remarking “but you dont have that surely” and “ok but its not that bad”. I took my top off and showed her the extent of my curse and explained how I know I had the same symptoms though it was meet with a its ‘not that bad at all attitude’ which was a big relief to me.
The point I want to raise here is that whilst I’d spent many years being so embarrassed about my chest not only worrying about what others may think not least would my girlfriend leave me – I found myself actually in the position of having to persuade someone that I had a life debilitating issue with my chest! I know that only you know how you feel about your gynecomastia but I can guarantee you that part the problem you have with you chest will be down to self inflicted depression. Of course there are different causes for this, I was bullied perhaps only a few times with my gynecomastia which had a lasting effect, but if I was having this multiple times a day I’d think the problem was a lot worse than it really is. (I’ll talk about bullys in a different post). But its hard to ignore that to some degree we put pressure on ourselves which affects our lives and we shouldnt do this. Living with gynecomastia is something that was determined in our biological build – we did not choose this so why feel guilty and ashamed of something that was out of your control.
My advice would be to talk to someone and dont keep this bottled up inside. Be it a friend, parent or a grand parent try to confide in someone as it will feel better for it. Of course dont confide in someone whom will use it against you spread rumors etc – choose someone you trust. And if you dont have anyone you trust then feel free to drop me a line.
Have you decided you want surgery? but just how much is Gynecomastia Surgery?